Abuse in the Church and how we should respond
There is a new documentary exploring and reflecting on the abuse that took place under the leadership of pastor Mike Pilavachi – founder of both Soul Survivor church in Watford and the Soul Survivor youth festival where many young people came to faith in Christ.
In the documentary ‘Let There Be Light’, Matt Redman – for many years a worship leader at Soul Survivor church and author of well-loved songs such as 10,000 Reasons and The Heart of Worship – and his wife Beth, unpack this important subject matter. I thought it might be helpful to write a blog with some of my reflections on what came to light.
My personal reflections
On a personal level, I had a number of emotions watching the documentary. I felt deeply sad for all of those who have been hurt by Mike Pilavachi’s behaviour, whether that was up close through being in direct contact with him, or at a distance attending events where he ministered and now having to re-evaluate what happened at those events. I pray that each of these people will find the healing and restoration they need.
I also feel angry. Angry that these things keep happening. Angry that people reported the abuse years ago, but those in authority seemingly did nothing with those accusations. Angry that there are people who through this will have lost their faith in both Jesus and his church.
I also feel impacted by the reality that I too am broken. That given the right set of circumstances, too much power and an absence of accountability, I too have it in me to act abusively towards others. That doesn’t excuse anything that has happened, but it does cause me to ask healthy and searching questions of my own behaviour as a leader.
But I also feel hope. Hope that Jesus is cleaning up his church in preparation for what I believe he is about to do in our nation. Hope that we are talking about this publicly and that through those conversations change will come. Hope that survivors will find healing and even a deepening of their relationship with God. Hope that I serve the God who brings beauty from ashes.
How should we respond?
1. Be informed and be aware
In the first place, I would encourage people to watch the documentary – painful as it is. We all need to be aware that the emotional, physical and spiritual abuse which happened under Mike Pilavachi’s leadership can happen anywhere, and that we can easily either fail to see it, or be tempted to excuse or overlook it.
One of the most sobering things for me in the documentary was the number of people who excused his behaviour by saying ‘well that’s just Mike’. That’s a phrase I have heard quite a number of times over the years about various Christian leaders, and in almost every case it has been used as an excuse for inappropriate behaviour.
One of the confusing things about this whole situation is that God undoubtedly moved powerfully in the lives of thousands of people through Mike Pilavachi’s ministry and yet, at the same time as he was acting abusively to those around him. There is a mystery to that, but the documentary is a powerful reminder of why we must never allow fruitfulness and success to be a barrier to calling out bad behaviour.
2. Listen to your emotions and take a path to healing
Secondly, I realise some will have a strong emotional reaction to the documentary. This may be with regard to Mike Pilavachi and the ministries he was involved in, or it may be with regard to a different situation with a different person, leader or church. I have spoken to people in both of those categories over the last few weeks.
If this is you then please listen to what your emotions are telling you and, whatever you do, don’t just push the emotions down and try to ignore them. In the first place I would encourage you to find someone you trust and have the courage to talk to them about your experience.
Bringing these things into the light is the beginning of the path to healing. That path may be long, and at times painful, but with courage, wise counsel and the Holy Spirit at work there is nothing in our lives which God cannot ultimately work together not only for our good, but also in time for the good of others too.
3. Be vigilant and speak up
Thirdly, I want to encourage all of us to play in helping to eradicate abuse in the church. That means each one of us being vigilant and willing to raise concerns if we have them.
If you have concerns which relate to Kerith then please report them by any of the following means:
Have a direct conversation with me or send me an email of your concerns to simon.benham@kerith.church.
Have a direct conversation with another one of our leaders.
Use our online reporting system which you can access via the safeguarding page on our website.
I promise that every report will be taken seriously and our aim will always be to get to the truth rather than to try and protect an individual or the reputation of Kerith.
If you have concerns outside of Kerith, then please raise them with someone you trust. If you’re not sure what to do then I would recommend contacting the Thirtyone:eight helpline and asking for their advice (Thirtyone:eight are an independent Christian safeguarding organisation).
All of that said, my experience is that for survivors of abuse it can take a long time before they feel that they are in a position to report their abuse, out of fear that they won’t be listened to and that the personal cost for them may be too high. If that is you, then please don’t feel under pressure, but do begin to bring your abuse into the light by talking with someone you trust and getting their help.
And for those of us in positions of power — if you are a leader, an elder, a trustee, anyone with authority — then please take all reports of abuse seriously. Start from a position of assuming that the report is true and needs to be investigated appropriately, rather than from a position that sees it as an attack, which must be repelled and shut down as quickly as possible. If we all play our part then we can change the culture.
A reminder that there is hope
There is hope. Over the last two years I have had the privilege of walking with someone in our community who was the victim of abuse by a leader in a previous church setting. I have been deeply struck by:
This person’s self-reflection in recognising that what happened to them was abuse…
Their courage in being willing to talk about it with others…
Their bravery in bringing their abuse into the light and pursuing justice…
Their willingness to forgive and allow God to begin to heal them…
And their desire in time to be a source of hope to others has been inspirational to see.
I pray that over the coming years, we will continue to be a community that helps bring healing to others in similar situations. But I also pray that we will be a community which helps to stop these things happening in the first place, first within Kerith, and then in a wider context as we seek to build and to model healthy leadership structures and systems.
There is so much more that I could say, but hopefully this is a useful start.
Let’s keep talking, let’s keep bringing things into the light and in the midst of the bad, let’s also recognise all the amazing things happening today and every day in and through the church of Jesus Christ.