How full is your bath? An honest talk about mental health

A picture of (mental) health

At the beginning of the first lockdown back in 2020, we had the privilege of hosting an online evening with Dr. Kate Middleton who did an online talk about mental health in lockdown. 

I know that many people found it incredibly helpful and timely. 

One of the pictures Kate used in her talk was to compare our mental health to a bath full of water. When the water level is low, even after a large disturbance, the water will stay in the bath. But when the water level is high, even a small disturbance will cause water to spill over the edge. 

In the same way, when our mental health is good, we can deal with large things happening in our lives, but when it is poor, even the smallest upset can send us over the edge.

Taking a moment to check in…

How full is your bath? 

Right now, I’d say that mine is about two thirds full. I’m doing OK, but it wouldn’t take too many extra challenges or setbacks for me to be struggling. 

I know that there were times during lockdown that the water was right up to the edge. There were even moments when it ran over. I wonder about you?

Take a moment to think about how full your bath is.

Advice from the experts

Today I had coffee with Lisa Owens. Lisa is a part of our community and founded a brilliant charity called Hope in Depression, which is designed for anyone who has experienced or is experiencing depression and/or anxiety, as well as helping those who are supporting others who are suffering.

As you might imagine, Lisa is quite an expert at this sort of stuff. Given her expertise, and the current level of my bath, I asked her for her top tips on how to lower the water level.

This is what she advised:

1. Move every day, especially in the morning. 

Exercise helps to regulate our cortisol levels which reduces anxiety and stress. From my own experience, I know there is a direct link between the amount I am exercising and my mental health. An early morning run does wonders for me, but it could be anything which gets us out of breath. Since I got covid in May I’ve struggled to get back into a routine, but I know that I need to get back to a regular exercise pattern. 

2. Eat well.

Lisa encouraged me to look at increasing the intake of fibre, fruit and vegetables, and to drink less coffee. It was ironic that I was having this discussion with Lisa over a flat white - although to be fair she was drinking a coffee too, so I didn’t feel too bad...? For me, I think I’m OK on this one when it comes to main meals, but I fall down when it comes to snacks and puddings! There is some work to do here. How about you?

3. Sleep well. 

Lisa talked to me about sleep hygiene. It sounded a bit alarming at first, but what she explained to me was how important it is to set yourself up to have a good night’s sleep. Stop using your phone well before bed and actually remove phones, TVs and tablets from the bedroom. Try to go to bed at the same time every night. Have a bed which is comfortable and a bedroom which is dark and a comfortable temperature. I’m not bad at this one – how are you?

4. Keep good company.

Often when we are struggling with our mental health the temptation is to isolate ourselves from other people. This has certainly been my experience and if anyone does ask how I’m doing, the almost inevitable response will be ‘fine’. But I know that  the lowering of my water level has often begun with me pressing into community and being honest with those who love me. Now is a good time to be finding community with all of our small groups and courses starting again. Why not take a positive step to lower the water level by joining a small group.

5. Get help. 

If the water is seriously high or running over, then don’t be afraid to seek professional help. One of the breakthrough moments in my life was when I had the courage to ask a counsellor ‘do you think I’m depressed?’. Just asking that question significantly reduced my water level. Acting on her response reduced it even further. Don’t be afraid to seek out a GP, a therapist or a counsellor if you know you are in trouble. Or consider booking into one of Hope in Depression’s courses and get help that way.

6. Trust God. 

It might seem strange to put this last, but I think Lisa wanted to emphasise the positive steps that I could take to work on my mental health before thinking about ‘spiritual’ solutions. I am reminded of the way that God deals with Elijah, when all the water overflows in his bath after defeating the prophets of Baal (1 Kings 19). He has two cycles of sleeping and eating before God meets with him, corrects his wrong thinking and shows him that he is not alone. It may be that we too need to take some of the practical steps as Lisa has suggested before - like Elijah - we are in a place to meet with God.

Helping others whose baths may be too full

Finally, I asked Lisa what to do if I have a friend who I suspect has a bath in danger of overflowing. Her advice was to be present with them. Perhaps go for a walk together – people often find it easier to open up when we are ‘side by side’ rather than ‘face to face’. Or have a meal together. 

If the person doesn’t want to talk then be prepared just to sit with them. Let them know that they’re not an annoyance or a nuisance, even if they don’t feel able to talk. Keep loving them, even if the water slopping out of the bath sometimes ends up on you. 

I’m hoping over the coming weeks to get my water level down. If you need to, I hope you feel able to join me on that journey. Let’s make sure our community is a safe place for us to ask others ‘how full is your bath’, and to give an honest answer if someone else asks us. 

Photo by Photoholgic on Unsplash